Written by Bill Strom


Because a car with four friends carpool to work, which provides the opportunity to chat a lot of gossip. One day I threw a question: What is the difference committed and faithful? After several rounds of debate, baked conclusion: a commitment that we would like to work together with the other half to spend the determination ; and loyal commitment is a line out the method .

Some people say, “We have to admit that a spouse is not necessarily committed faithful” , men are particularly prone to succumb to the idea you want to have it both ways. A boat can be with her ​​children, and the church together, grow old fixed partner; another boat in the workplace represents a “friendship” or unbridled emotion put □. In their thoughts, they can belong to both the heart, but in fact this is no party loyalty.

So what is the use commitment? If it is not a guarantee faithful, but also the value of money? Commitment is very important fact, it is like racing in front of the training, though not guaranteed to win, but it brings a lot of benefits.

Studies have shown that for the spouse and marriage more seriously committed people, the more likely :

  • □ sacrifice made for marriage
  • Expressed satisfaction with their relationship
  • Less feeling of being trapped in marriage
  • Enjoy lasting marriage

Moreover, they usually do not continue to look the other partner in the vast sea.

Commitment to change our conversation

In marriage, will be turned into a verbal commitment demonstrated strong. Dave and Michelle live in the West Bank, Dave is responsible for at a Christian college in discipleship, Michelle recently resigned as pastor of the office, at home, in order to fully take care of their first son – Qiu satisfied. How they express their commitment to each other? Dave explain.

“I get up at 5 o’clock in the morning crying fur being coaxed satisfied, so Michelle can enjoy more than one hour of quiet sleep, I make a phone call from noon greeting her office, and she wrote an email to me and told me that she had more grateful for my help. ”

Dave and Michelle courteous and many studies of married couples to each other.

Committed to other couples who can not commit more than provide moral support . When their partner feel hurt, grumpy, or complacent, they not only understand, but certainly these feelings are real and reasonable. Not mutually supportive companion similar places, “You should not think so,” or “a little self-pity” tone to question the other half of the feelings.

Committed people who will share ideas with each other deep in the heart of □ , if they go beyond the weather and the game, and enjoy □ described their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and plans. In contrast, believe that the spouse has the ability to ready minds think alike, you can not rely on words to know what they thought of each other husband and wife is very easy to fall into struggling.

Committed couples like “Table □ type interaction,” they revealed in the gestures of love and compassion, and hand in hand companions, intimate reactions, and expressed mutual support for each other’s warmth. In other words, committed partner devotion, they will put down the newspaper, turn off the TV, and the other half four trading purposes soul Xiangqi.

Committed spouse will pay attention to “the little things” to express love and concern . Michelle and Dave thought just say “I love you” to each other during the day through the phone, or out on a date they had firmer eachother. They also write a small note, massage each other’s feet, pray together, and listen carefully. Commitment to convey not only unobtrusive, but subtle and bland , but we can not do.

Revealed in faithful commitment in

More evidence is encouraging, the lovers committed to a positive way interaction. How should we express that faithful? Perhaps we should ask what is the faithful ?

For many people, the answer is “chastity” – if we did not have physical contact, kissing, or sexual, even loyalty with people other than their spouses. However, there will be two former escapades occurred prelude: the ideological and emotional infidelity. No matter what kind of infidelity, would undermine the trust and affection cracks.

Others thought of infidelity are illusions , when men thought, “I wonder what life with her ​​situation?”, they actually have crossed the border; or when the woman who wondered, “I like him to listen to me way of speaking, “they will mind misplaced. Whenever we think □ addicted to third parties who want to live with and enjoy adult sexual relationships, or dreaming, we are unfaithful.

If we think a bit of cross-border harmless fantasy, do not forget that Jesus said this is guilty of adultery.

Emotional infidelity will issue elevated to another level , it refers to the energy absorbed on feelings and relationships outside the spouse to meet the individual needs of people who are accustomed to. The famous affair expert Gelei Si (Shirley Glass) believe that emotional infidelity is reserved for the spouse of the original inner world to share with others .

Emotional infidelity often starts in the workplace , in that we can get to know □ share similar values ​​and interests. Emotionally unfaithful people used to cover up an affair evasive behavior, “I am here today at noon to eat a light meal with John,” or “Meg and I are now busy Thompson plan together.” Curiously, which deliberately skip not to mention the details.

If the relationship is not infidelity on perceived, physical infidelity might attendant . When the contact of the body along with lust reaction, if not admit sparks, already is infidelity of the body. □ casual contact could develop into a passionate embrace, leading to sexual behavior, unless someone brakes in time.

Although numerous studies vary, experts estimate that about 44 per cent of the husband and the wife of twenty-five percent had had extramarital sex, especially in the United States up to 80 percent people do not agree with the behavior of an affair culture □. Unfortunately, the four main reasons people use to rationalize the behavior of an affair:

  1. Erotic novel stimuli
  2. Love or romance novel
  3. Accompanied by emotional intimacy and understanding arising
  4. Promotion or career reasons retaliation

Men more commonly the first reason to justify acts of infidelity, while women are more commonly used in the second reason.

Ironically, these reasons and commitment of the couple enjoyed a long list of benefits echo each other, such as intimate reactions, emotional communication, and hand in hand companions. If you want loyalty, our commitment must be translated into willpower. How do the faithful? This □ some suggestions.

Clean thought: My heart and mind are that you

Because more men than women susceptible to visual stimulation, we must keep our eyes, and the modern media is not easy to let us do that. They understand the erotic can boost ratings, so they have the opportunity to use an erotic attraction to us.

If you knew you should not browse some on the website? □ or watch you and your son will not watch late night TV show or movie rental? If the answer is yes, you have to make some choices of.

When walking on the road, where your sights on? When you and your wife in shopping malls □, what will attract your attention? If we are closer to God and our wives, we are less likely to be captured by the other woman’s hair, legs, or breasts. We can say to his wife, my eyes □ only you?

Women are in the relationship feely, different from men is that they need to beware of their own ideas to other relationships. Very rare good man, a perfect man is very easy to freak.

When you listen to a sympathetic male doctors complain, what your mind flashed the idea ? For who you work with male colleagues you immerse yourself in the fantasy of what? Are you in a dream and outline the favorite screen stars love?

When we started the idea condone infidelity, our best self-examination and loudly say to yourself, “I’m in charge of my thoughts,” or “How can I [name of the spouse’s] better today?.” Will refocus on our other half who can save our thoughts.

Relationship Guard: Sorry, this person has a Relationship

Neil and orchids live in Vancouver, Neil was a high school teacher, and orchids in the child’s school □ Volunteering, they are dynamic, the prime of life, and attractive.

When asked how they express loyalty, their common wisdom is, “said the doors are not.” Orchids early school board let her serve the male members know that she is a married woman, “When I have to participate in school activities to introduce Neil, let them know that I have a husband, we will of □ surface spread on. ” Similarly, Neil invited to join the faculty Orchids ceilidh and let everyone see his faithful of Orchids, in fact, if the orchids do not, he would not attend the ceilidh.

Neil and orchids among themselves to potential “threat” frank , “Frankly I get the trust of orchids, and a colleague Jeanne is a beautiful woman thirties, I will tell Orchids after school I will work with Jenny met my wife does not hide anything. ”

Also show wisdom on environmental ethics Neil , met with the female colleague, he will pay attention to small details, “such as closing the door never meet in private, these little things make me free from blame, clearly understood.”

Keep a sense of proportion as to build a relationship on the wall and waist , uniform clear distinction clear demarcation line between the points, but not indifferent alienated. Whenever we decide words and deeds, it will be this way the fence erected to prevent an affair, or even any possibility of happening.

Not lust temptation: This is inappropriate

In the past era of men outside, and an affair with a stranger is treated as a symbol of man’s rights and status, gender equality at work today, and the new morality allow consensual adult sexual behavior. But even non-religious people who have also paid attention to the old-fashioned loyalty that one but herself to a spouse, he or she will respond faithfully in the end. This single universal emotion when promiscuity in after marriage □ expect loyalty of double standards created tension in the workplace, resulting in tight situations caught in the workplace interaction and normal relations between the lure.

Many people think that married heterosexual colleagues who accept emotional comfort at lunch and innocuous , but this has blurred the boundaries behave. To care about their colleagues tell struggled on marriage seem simple, but again, but it is precisely this kind of emotional infidelity will lead to more complex emotions involved. When we feel that everything is above board, the emotional and physical lure will burst lightning spark ignited colleagues beyond friendship.

How do we do that ? Because of the emotional and physical attraction in the middle there is a gray area, the smart way is to increase awareness in the workplace. Do you maintain the appropriate professional relationships with colleagues? Or self-deception “just friends” between you? Similarly, keeping alert in circles, an old lover and spouse’s friends often become a potential threat to endanger loyalty, you can put up a wall to protect it? Finally, the defense of your PC. Some people think the Internet has been turned over to make friends in the non-destructive, but the long-term you come to me – even if only occasionally by email or exchange photos – may make you faithless.

Orchids he said: “loyalty not only refers to the body, it is even more than one level, I believe a person’s body faithful, his feelings and intellect may still Back to Bedlam, just a notch on the embankment..”

I suggest you read the related articles:
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communication – a happy marriage of the second pillar of the root of
a better sex life – the fourth pillar of a happy marriage
do not rush to say goodbye – from the “bear” to “enjoy “Marriage

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  • Serena Wang 蔡佩芬 said: 親愛的Anne 感謝你的信任,從你的提問我可以感受到你很關心你的孩子,也能夠體會你的無奈,請問你有帶他去看過心理醫... Read More »
  • Anne said: 你好,我孩子今年20岁,他有忧郁症了,他不想去读书也不想找朋友,也不要看心理医生,也不出门,每天都在房里。他自己也... Read More »
  • Serena Wang 蔡佩芬 said: 非常感謝你的提醒,我們會馬上改善。以馬內利... Read More »